My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
