CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
