what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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