I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
