I accidentally burped into my bong.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize