What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
