we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
