Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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