I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
