I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
