I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
