I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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