Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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