I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
