Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
