if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
