It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
