Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize