When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
