Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I need to calm my uterus...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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