So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
