Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
