ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
