but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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