We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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