Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
