bring money and cleavage
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize