I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
