New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize