i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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