Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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