So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
