We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
