The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
