the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
