do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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