Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize