The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
