dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
did i just pee glitter
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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