I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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