I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Soap is not a condiment
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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