ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize