If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
