I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
