I think i peed on brittanys purse
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
