this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
