4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize