R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
