i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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