He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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