We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I party with great urgency now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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