The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
