I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
