I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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