Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Damn victory sex feels great
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize