She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
