i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
