Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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