i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My vagina just recognized that song.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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