How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
