My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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