No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
