You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
